Grandma & Grandpa 
        
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. 
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. 
The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive." 
"How much?" asked Grandpa. 
"$10.00 a pill," answered the son. 
"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow." 
Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00. 
"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma!" 

Condom factory burns down in N.Z.   
Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is awoken at 4am by the telephone. 
‘Hillen, its the hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency!!! I've just received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklnd hes burned to the ground. It is istimated that the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week!’ 
PM: 'SHUT!!! - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted bebies - w'ill be ruined!!'  

Hilth Munister: 'We're going to hef to shup some in from....Brutain?' 
PM:  'No chence!! The Poms will have a field day on thus one!!' 
Hilth Munister: 'What about Australia ?' 
PM: 'I'll call Kevin Rudd - tell hum we need one million condoms; ten enches long and eight enches thuck!!  That way they'll continue to respect the all blacks!' 
Three days later a delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds one million condoms;   10 enches long; 8 enches thuck, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one... 
‘MADE IN AUSTRALIA  -  SIZE: MEDIUM’ (Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie... Oy Oy Oy) 

'The Obedient Wife'
 
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real 'miser' when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'  And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, Wait just a moment!'
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.
So her friend said, 'Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'
The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.'
You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'
'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'

                                               Special Mentions:

At an event a R/hatter collapsed and it was necessary for her to be taken to hospital.

It soon became obvious that she could not recall her relevant phone numbers. She did not have a mobile phone and her families numbers were silent numbers so not in the phone book. Under these circumstances a simple way of having information accessible would be to have a contact name and phone number noted on the back of a name badge. The onus would be on the wearer to have up to date information.

A number of groups have mentioned they ask for medical conditions and medications to be noted on registrations forms, also in the case of emergency situations and especially if on any long-distance trips.

    ICE numbers   

This may help save a life or save time in making contact in emergencies. It is certainly a great idea to share amongst our R/H members who will hopefully pass it along to all their families and friends.

ICE stands for "In Case of Emergency". The idea is to have relevant numbers listed in your Mobile phone.   On one's contacts, one lists under the name ICE for one's nearest and dearest to be contacted if  ... one gets hit by a bus, or blown up on one!!  Listing a number of contacts is a good idea, numbered ICE 1, ICE 2 and ICE 3 etc. 

Adding a suburb of ones address in the contact list is another suggestion, especially  if you are travelling. Do not put a full name with a full address in case the phone is stolen, it might give some nasty type somewhere to burgle.   An alternative is to put in the area code if one goes interstate.  One ICE number could be your GP’ office  who has your records.